Cronenberg Classics, Part II
David Cronenberg broke the news that he will be making a sequel to the award winning film, Eastern Promises.
There was so much promise to David Cronenberg’s 2007 film Eastern Promises that it couldn’t be contained in a single film: MTV News reported yesterday that the Canadian director has decided to make a sequel to the award- winning film. “We are moving forward with it,” Cronenberg told MTV. “We all are excited about the idea of doing a sequel.” If finalized, the project would mark the third collaboration between Cronenberg and Promises star Viggo Mortensen, who also starred in the director’s 2005 film A History of Violence. “Viggo is a very special guy,” said Cronenberg. “He’s really a funny guy. We laugh a lot. We giggle a lot.”
That got us thinking, if Cronenberg can make a sequel to his tale of Russian mob dealings in London, what if he made sequels to some of the other pictures in his notable cannon? Herewith, the five Cronenberg sequels we’d pay to see.
5. Shivers, Part II: The Willies
In the follow-up to his 1975 flick about an apartment complex turned into rabid sex fiends, Cronenberg trains his cameras on one of Toronto’s new high- rise condominiums by the Lakeshore and sees the new form of 2009 terror: Recession! What happens when addicts of Earth Hour can no longer afford fancy love seats? Rabid sales fiends, and it’s eat or be eaten in this 26-storeys of coupon clipping and fear.
4. Videodrome, Part II: When CNN Takes Over the World
James Woods was unforgettable in Cronenberg’s 1983 tale of cable TV horror, but in this reboot of the franchise, we’re taken into a truly garish Canadian world where CBC has been abolished and our only television refuge is Wolf Blitzer, Lou Dobbs and the CNN mongers of 24-hour fear. Snuff films will feel like a vacation after the Cafferty File plays on permanent repeat.>p>3. Dead Ringers, Part II: Identical Twins Adopt a Baby From Africa
Twin gynecologists present a deeply creepy patois in Cronenberg’s 1998 Jeremy Irons vehicle, but what could be even more terrifying? Dead Ringers, Part II, this time they’re movie stars! In this blood-chilling sequel, Cronenberg casts Madonna (yikes!) to play deeply spoiled Hollywood identical twin actresses attempting to import children from Sudan. Beverly Hills will never be the same.
2. Crash, Part II: #&*@ You, Paul Haggis!
In 1996, Cronenberg made the freakish sex thriller Crash, starring James Spader as a man who got off on road accidents. In 2004, Canadian writer- director Paul Haggis made the freakish “we’re all connected” L.A. film Crash, and picked-up an Oscar. Now, in Cronenberg’s sequel to his original, he chases Haggis from L.A. to London, Ont. making him repeatedly watch his MESSAGE film. You’ve never seen a five-letter word for horror as painful as this.
1. A History of Violence, Part II: In IMAX 3-D!
Jeffrey Katzenberg has said that 3D movies were the future of film and Cronenberg, no dummy, looks to capitalize on the trend by re-teaming with Viggo Mortensen on their 2005 masterpiece. In this shot-for-shot remake/sequel, audience members receive funny glasses at the door and are able to watch the blood and guts spill out over their aisles. If Monsters Vs. Aliens can break box office records, why shouldn’t Cronenberg and Mortensen giggle all the way to the bank?
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